Father's Rights!! By John Sanford

On Sun, Mar 14, 2021, 5:32 PM I was on the bus a few weeks ago; a bus that had only a small number of other riders as I remember. Most of them either talking on their phones or bobbing their heads up and down to the beat of whatever music they were listening to. At some point, a young man who appeared to me to be in his early thirties literally started screaming on his phone --as if he were on the bus by himself-- about how he felt about not seeing his children as often as he would like to. More than once he implied that this was partially due to his working overtime and often six days a week to be able to meet his obligations to both his children and himself and partially due to their mother's lifestyle and her unhappiness with having to make the children available on short notice. Although I'm more than twice that young man's age, the level of frustration in his voice evoked memories of my experiences with 'fathering' while living apart from my children. If I could've talked with him I would've gladly shared the lessons I learned from being a young father who wanted to be as relevant as possible in his children's lives. I would have attempted to explain the importance of understanding that in most situations in life one must identify and acknowledge what one does and does not control, then work from there to create change. Until change happens understand that the quality of time spent is more important than the amount of time spent. Be faithful to your commitment while being kind to yourself. Since circumstances and personalities vary, I believe that this would've been the best advice I could've given him. If this young man is genuine about his intent, there's little that will prevent him from securing the love, the respect and an open door to the minds of his children.